If you wan’ to be happy an’ live a »King Life«
Nevah make a pretty woman yo’ wife.
All you got to do is jus’ what I say
An’ you’ll be happy, merry an’ gay
So from a logical point of view,
Marry a woman uglier than you.

A pretty woman make her husban’ look small,
An very often cause he downfall,
As soon as she marry then an’ ther she start
To do the things that will ache yo’ heart.
Jus’ when you think she belongin’ to you
She’s calling somebody else »doo doo«
So from a logical point of view,
Marry a woman uglier than you.

If you want to live a long an’ happy life,
Avoiding consternation an’ marital strife,
For a logical man this is easy to do,
When you marry a woman uglier than you.
But if you make an ugly woman yo’ wife,

You will be happy all of yo’ life.
She would’t do things in a funny way,
Jus’ to give the neighbors something to say,
She wouldn’t disregard her husban’ at all,
By exhibiting herself to Peter an’ Paul,
So from a logical point of view,
Marry a woman uglier than you.

An ugly woman give you yo’ meals on time
An try to keep you comfortable in mind,
At night when you lay ‘pon yo cozy bed,
She’ll kiss, caress you, an scratch yo’ head.
Not a minute of yo’ life will she leave you alone.
For ev’ry mischief she will atone,
So from a logical point of view,
Marry a woman uglier than you.

Jus’ marry a woman uglier than you!
Ugly woman, I marry you!